


My Melancholy

by heathen05



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma is a Little Shit, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Making Up, One Shot, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25711522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heathen05/pseuds/heathen05
Summary: Karma miss Nagisa, regretting everyday that he let him go.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	My Melancholy

Karma was walking aimlessly around the city. With no place in mind, he realized that he arrived at Nagisa's street. Shit, he thought. Here I am again. He smiled sadly, Nagisa I miss you.

It's been two months and three days since he and Nagisa broke up. Honestly, it was just a petty fight, a disagreement that lead to their break up. Jealousy. It's more than meets the eye. Not just simple jealousy like when your crush likes someone else. Or when your parents favoured your other sibling instead of you. No. Karma got jealous of Nagisa and Kayano's friendship. You may think why would he be jealous? He has Nagisa, but admittedly when you're jealous all logical thinking flows out of the window.

Now, he regretted everything that happened. They say that time will take away the pain. That time, will heal all wounds and that he will be able to find someone new. Someone better, but what if he doesn't want someone new? What if, what he wanted was still the same person that he let go?

He returned to his house, as he opened the door he saw a glimpse of blue hair waiting for him on the living room. "Welcome home, Karma." Nagisa smiled warmly at him. The living room was well lighted, giving a soft and warm ambiance of a house, a home to return to. A place to belong, where he will always be welcomed.

"Nagi-" he began but when he entered, Nagisa disappeared. Leaving him all alone in the quiet, cold and dark house. Oh, that’s right they were no longer together. Karma hung his head, his bangs covering his eyes. With a sighed, he went to his room to change his clothes, in the corner of the room he saw the big blue teddy bear he was supposed to give to Nagisa as an anniversary gift.

He tore away his eyes on the bear and went to his closet to change clothes and lie on the bed. He turned his body to his right and saw a picture frame of him and Nagisa smiling while inside the Ferris wheel. He took the picture frame from the nightstand, and stared at it with deep longing. He remembered that they went to an amusement park, funny that when they entered; they are friends and exited as lovers. He knew that the both of them enjoyed that day, it was tiring yeah, but it was fun. It was worth it. It was fulfilling since he get to see the smiles of Nagisa and hear his adorable laughs.

He began to reminisce their happy moments when they were still together, their first date that followed by a second and a third until they can no longer count their dates in their three years of being together. Karma realized that he’d rather feel physical pain than this heartache. This heartache that was killing him inside from all the regrets that he made to his former lover.

“Why did I let you go Nagisa?” He always asked himself. “You were so good to me, but I took you for granted. If I could turn back the time, back when you were mine. I swear I’d do everything right.” He said to no one and sighed heavily.

He placed the frame beside him when his phone chirped indicating a notification. After checking his phone, he stood up and went to the kitchen to prepare for his dinner. He used to see Nagisa preparing their dinner, mouth watering aroma fills the kitchen with his good cooking skills. He miss him so goddamn much. After making his food, he went to the dining area and noticed how lonely and cold it was. When he looked at his food he almost lost appetite, Nagisa used to share stories with him while they were eating. It was lively. Now it's gone, and it's all his damn fault.

After he ate, he washed the dishes and went to his room to do some work. He fetched his phone from the bed and went to his study table where his laptop was placed. He opened his laptop, and while it boot up, he checked the message he received from Nakamura about Nagisa.

He wondered how Nagisa was doing. Was he ok? Was he having trouble about something? Was he hurting like me? Does he miss me like I miss him? Too many questions but no answer. He hated this. He hated how ignorant he was. But most of all he hated himself.

What Karma regretted the most was that he didn’t realize how he hurt Nagisa. Not physically but emotionally, how Nagisa tried his hardest not to cry whenever they argue. But when Karma walked away he will cry his heart out. He can't blame Nagisa, for Nagisa tried understanding him. He was just stubborn. Fed by jealousy.

When his laptop booted up, the first thing he did was checked his emails for important things and his schedule for tomorrow. He noted that he will be attending some meetings too. By 11:55 PM he was done with it and was ready to go to bed, he changed into his sleepwear, brushed his teeth and lie on his bed. Remembering that he will meet with Nakamura tomorrow night to talk about Nagisa.

The day went by fast much to Karma’s happiness. He went to the restaurant Nakamura said, she saw him first and waved at him. When he saw her, he smiled and went to her table, after sitting a waiter gave them a menu and water, after they said their orders the waiter went away.

“So, Karma how are you?” Nakamura asked, leaning towards the table in front of her. Scrutinizing his work clothes, he still looked the same. Only he got taller, his hair swept to the side, he looked mature now. His eyes which normally held mischief was missing, placed with melancholy. A sensation that is so foreign to him, it doesn’t belong to him and it will never be. He really is so downcast, Nakamura thought. Who would have thought that the great Akabane Karma will be down in the dumps by loosing Nagisa.

As she observed more she noticed some eye bags on him, she now wonders if he was sleeping well. “I’m doing well,” Karma said and looked at his companion. “You?”

“I’m great, work’s a bitch but I can manage.” She drank her water slowly while waiting for their food.

“Yeah, I know you can. Nakamura-”

“Karma, about Nagisa,” Nakamura began, Karma gasped when he heard the name of the person he deeply misses. 

“How is he?” Karma asked frantically, “Is he doing ok? Is he in trouble?”

“Calm down, he’s not in any trouble or anything. It’s just that,” she sighed “He looks so depressed. We talked last night, he invited me over his apartment. Seeing him break down his walls from work made me realized how strong he really was. He was able to separate his work problems from personal problems and that was amazing, since not all people can do that. I’m not saying this, since we work together in the same company, but as a friend of him and you, I suggest that you do what is right.”

Karma’s heart sank when he learned that Nagisa was depressed because of him, it was his damn fault after all. He looked down at his lap and he agreed at what Nakamura said about Nagisa, he was indeed strong. He’s strong even when they’re in Class 3-E. They say that he didn’t know what he have in his life until it’s gone, and boy that was so true.

“I…I was planning on talking to him, make amends,” he looked up at her.

“I hope it ends well, my baby blue is so sad. If weren’t for you I’d steal him,” she joked.

“Heeh…I’d like to see you try Nakamura,” Karma smirked.

Their food arrived and they began eating silently, after they ate they talked some more about their works and of course about Nagisa by 9 PM they bid goodbye to each other and parted ways. The drive towards his house was filled of thoughts. Thoughts about the night Nagisa walked out on him. He went inside his house and straight to the bathroom to take a bath. He filled the tub with water and dropped some bath bomb, and soaked himself.

He was reminiscing the night Nagisa walked out on him. He can’t forget the way his baby blue eyes looked at him. And at that moment he knew he will regret it forever, he knew he’ll never be alive with no more him and Nagisa. If he only controlled his anger, his jealousy. If he listened more and trusted him, then he won’t be this heartbroken, he won’t be alone and hurting. To top that Nagisa will still be here with him.

He remembered when it began, he often hear Nagisa talked about Kayano and how he will be helping her in some things, that needed assistance. His late out nights with friends and Kayano. Not knowing the reason, and when Karma asked him, he’ll say it was noting. Well, that time it doesn’t sit well with Karma. Whenever that happens Karma will throw a fit and make accusations towards Nagisa, that left deep wounds on his then lover.

He realized that he should have been patient and understanding towards Nagisa and Kayano’s friendship. Since Class 3-E the two seemed inseparable, if he didn’t know that Nagisa swings that way he’ll think that Nagisa has a crush on Kayano. After he confessed to Nagisa, he learned that the bluenette has feelings towards him since their time in Class 3-E.

Karma got out of the tub and patted his body dry with a towel, he wrapped a towel on his private parts and went to his room to change into his sleepwear. After brushing his teeth he laid down on his bed and checked his phone for some notifications. Seeing none he placed his phone on the nightstand beside the photo frame.

He looked at the photo frame and let his thoughts run on Nagisa and their fateful night. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. He needed to man up and make amends with him, or he might he lose him forever. He can’t afford that to happen so he reached for his phone and searched for Nagisa’s contact. He began typing a message to him, he reread the message and when he was about to send it he hesitated. Remembering the words he said that night, he never meant any of those, he wanted to take those words back.

He sent the message and tossed his phone at the end of his bed, he was nervous and it was an understatement. He remembered when Nagisa walked out of this house, with all his belongings and taking his heart with him never to return again. He drank away his sorrows that night, when morning came he heard a knock, awakened from his hungover state he opened the door and saw a delivery boy giving him flowers and a card. He was bewildered by it and thanked the delivery boy, he read the card and saw that it was from Nagisa. In the card says how much he loves him, and that he wanted to surprise him with the rest of Class 3-E on a a party for their anniversary. And that he was sorry for hiding this towards him, and he hoped that he no longer gets angry.

Realizing this he felt bile rising on his stomach, all of his jealousy was eating at him. He was jealous for nothing, because Nagisa proved that he truly loves him and despite his anger he let it slide to prepare an anniversary party for him, even inviting the Class 3-E. How foolish was he, he even dared accused Nagisa for something so petty like jealousy. When all along he was doing all this preparation, and what did he give him in return? A broken heart. What a monster was he.

He immediately went to the said place for the party, he saw his former classmates waiting for him and Nagisa, they congratulated him. He saw how extravagant the place was, no doubt it was meticulously organized by his bluenette.He cried out, his former classmates were surprised, at first they thought he was really surprised but then when he explained to them what happened, they were discombobulated. Some were disheartened by turn of events, others cursed him, and he took them all. He deserved them anyway. They received a message from Nagisa saying that the party was canceled and that he was sorry for wasting their time. One by one his former classmates left, some stayed to comfort him, but he told them that he was not the one who needed comfort.

He was left alone on the venue, staring at the pretty place, which he destroyed. It was indeed all his fault, and he regretted it now. He found out that Kayano was the one assisting Nagisa in organizing the place. Oh god, how despicable of him to think that there was something going on between the two.

He checked his phone again and saw that his message was read. He was glad at least he knew that Nagisa was not ignoring him. He will make this right. He will get what belongs to him and he will not let him go, the second time. He will cherish him like there’s no tomorrow, he will appreciate him and will no longer get jealous. He loved him, he still does and he will give his all to make Nagisa happy. With that in mind he went to sleep and hoped that tomorrow, will be a better day.

Karma stopped walking, when he saw Nagisa checking the cafe they used to frequent on their dates. When Nagisa started walking and looked forward, their eyes met the people around them turned into slow motion. Karma can see that Nagisa was not expecting to see him. To Karma, his former lover still looked the same and he still miss him.

“Nagisa,” Karma began and started walking towards him slowly.

“Karma…w-what-” Nagisa was cut off when Karma embraced him tightly.

“I miss you. I miss you Nagisa, and I’m sorry. I know that ‘sorry’ can’t change the past and my mistakes, but please give me a chance to make it right.” Karma croaked willing himself not to cry as the memories came flooding in.

“Karma…I..” Nagisa hugged the red head back.

“I love you Nagisa, I still love you.”

Nagisa’s eyes widened, “I…I love you too Karma.”

When Karma heard that he looked at Nagisa’s face and in his eyes there’s only sincerity. He kissed his forehead and embraced him tightly, he really did miss him, “I’ll never let you go again,”

Nagisa smiled, “it felt so good to be in your arms again,” he said and embraced his lover. Karma smiled sweetly and they decided to eat at the cafe, and enjoyed the rest of the day in each others arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed lol. Kudos and comments are appreciated. :D


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